The Sweet & Sour of Life
Sometimes you have to go through the motions. Earlier tonight I walked into rehearsal for a play for the first time in 3 years. I was and will continue to be asked variations of “How are you doing?” and “Are you happy to be back?” Not easy to answer those questions. I am not unhappy to be there in particular, but I am unhappy about the circumstances that find me back there at this time.
I wonder if it is possible to allow some modicum of happiness to coexist when we are dealing with circumstances that find us deeply unhappy. The sweet & sour of life. And to use a Chinese food reference in a metaphor is just about as "me" as it can get. It's a delicate balance to not let new happiness be squelched by a prevailing sadness. And yet you don't want to let your sadness be ignored just to chase a possibly fleeting happiness that might only leave you hurting more in the end. Everything in its due time.
The cruelty of life is inescapable and it can often shrink us down, but pity does not breed confidence. Not in yourself and not in others. I find empathy to be more constructive. When we can understand the pain, whether it has been caused by or happened to us, then we are able to understand that there is no one path or one timeline to expect for healing. Some wounds will heal completely, in ways that you can't even fathom. And sadly other wounds will never heal fully, but even then we will be surprised at the amount of strength & resilience we had all along because we were blinded by the pain never leaving us fully.
I pray and hope that I can live long enough and well enough to find I have surprised myself in that exact manner.
I wonder if it is possible to allow some modicum of happiness to coexist when we are dealing with circumstances that find us deeply unhappy. The sweet & sour of life. And to use a Chinese food reference in a metaphor is just about as "me" as it can get. It's a delicate balance to not let new happiness be squelched by a prevailing sadness. And yet you don't want to let your sadness be ignored just to chase a possibly fleeting happiness that might only leave you hurting more in the end. Everything in its due time.
The cruelty of life is inescapable and it can often shrink us down, but pity does not breed confidence. Not in yourself and not in others. I find empathy to be more constructive. When we can understand the pain, whether it has been caused by or happened to us, then we are able to understand that there is no one path or one timeline to expect for healing. Some wounds will heal completely, in ways that you can't even fathom. And sadly other wounds will never heal fully, but even then we will be surprised at the amount of strength & resilience we had all along because we were blinded by the pain never leaving us fully.
I pray and hope that I can live long enough and well enough to find I have surprised myself in that exact manner.
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