Might be time for a social media detox. Feels like I’m teetering on the precipice of VERY BAD THOUGHTS and these outlets are triggering more than a fair share of them. I haven’t even looked at any of my ex-wife’s accounts in quite a while, so while that would be an obvious culprit it’s not in this case. Just one of those quicksand kind of feelings. A lot of little things that don’t seem so little when added onto a pile of big stuff that’s weighing me down.
I just watched “Obvious Child” and my heart fucking hurts so much because it was so funny, beautiful, honest, tender. And it makes me hate my own life and situation a thousand times more tha I already do. I’m supposed to see her on Friday to sign the divorce papers and so she can give me back the rest of the my shit that I left behind in the house that we shared as our home. And when I say shit, I mean exactly that, just crap that I don’t need or want but she can’t stand to have any trace of me left hanging around and doesn’t have the decency to burn it or throw away on her own. Like she even has a photo of me that I had given to her and she wants to return it to me. What the fuck?! It’s for me to process the idea that she is capable of such cruelty. Is it not enough that I am giving her what she wants? Is it not enough that I am left with next to nothing? No job, a broke down car, living with my parents, an entire life and future dreamt of and hoped for dashed. Friends & fami...
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