Things I Could Really Use Right Now


  • A JOB - Been out of work since the beginning of March. Lots of chaos in my personal life since then has made it even more difficult than normal to find new employment. I'm at breaking point. Everything else on this list would be made more attainable after securing a job and the income & purpose it provides.
  • MENTAL HEALTH ACCESS - I can't afford meds or counseling right now and have not had any success in finding aid through local community resources.
  • A BREAK FROM MY OWN MIND - Not a fun place to be living in these days. Again work and mental health treatment would each provide some relief. Can't get out of my head long enough to enjoy music, movies, tv shows, sports, reading. 
  • A LONG AND HARD (AND RAW) IN PERSON TALK WITH MY SOON TO BE EX-WIFE - It would go a long way to helping with whatever eventual closure I might be able to reach. Right now we are not talking or communicating at all. I don't even know when she plans on going to court to finalize the divorce. I just need to know where I stand and need to get some things off my chest before I stuff before it eats me alive.
  • A RECOMMITMENT TO DISCIPLINE IN REGARD TO MY PHYSICAL HEALTH - Goes hand in hand with mental health, but I need to eat better and exercise more consistently. I'm not getting any younger and the many genetic predispositions I have to medical problems are only going to loom larger as I age.
  • MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO STOP WAITING FOR ME TO REACH OUT TO THEM - My support structure is not the best, but I need the people in my life who claim to love and care about me to step up and start being present in my life and my recovery. Not when it is convenient for them. It's uncomfortable and messy and I'm almost always there for everyone else. I feel like the silence and avoidance makes me feel more like a pariah and that I should keep everything I'm going through to myself. I don't need platitudes or tough love. I just need to know that I matter. I need recognition that what I am going through is not common or "just part of life" but a big fucking deal because that is how I am experiencing it. 

Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 14, 2016 at 1:04 AM

    It is a big deal - you are being heard. I am here to talk if you need to.

    ReplyDelete

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