First day working on the movie went pretty well. Was a light day, as shooting doesn’t start until Thursday but still exhausting. Good exhausting. I think. Learning a lot of this on the fly. Just hoping not to disappoint. Country music star Deana Carter is in the cast and will be performing in the film. There is also a former contestant on American Idol and a young woman that was featured on a TV series called Dance Moms. I have no clue about either of those. Haven’t met any of the cast, but the rest of the crew and producers all seem very nice and professional. I got a copy of the script and need to read it ASAP so I can make notes before the next production meeting tomorrow. The budget is tight, so I am making due with begging & borrowing (but not stealing, gosh what kind of person do you think I am?) as much as I can.
I just watched “Obvious Child” and my heart fucking hurts so much because it was so funny, beautiful, honest, tender. And it makes me hate my own life and situation a thousand times more tha I already do. I’m supposed to see her on Friday to sign the divorce papers and so she can give me back the rest of the my shit that I left behind in the house that we shared as our home. And when I say shit, I mean exactly that, just crap that I don’t need or want but she can’t stand to have any trace of me left hanging around and doesn’t have the decency to burn it or throw away on her own. Like she even has a photo of me that I had given to her and she wants to return it to me. What the fuck?! It’s for me to process the idea that she is capable of such cruelty. Is it not enough that I am giving her what she wants? Is it not enough that I am left with next to nothing? No job, a broke down car, living with my parents, an entire life and future dreamt of and hoped for dashed. Friends & fami...
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