unfinished thoughts

The way my dreams torment me. Even when I am at my most angry and raw, but catharsis is not reached because I retreat into just wanting to be happy and whole again with her. As if a magic wand could wave over me and put everything back into place. I never believed in magic. I believed in us. I believed in the hard work and patience and time that were to be required of us. I believed it was and would continue to be worth it. I believed that our good times would always outweigh the bad. I believed that I was becoming the best version of myself, even if it were a work in progress. Even if it look so far away at times. I saw believed in the past tense, which is not true. I still believe. Present tense. And that is perhaps my biggest problem.