I’ve made promises to people that I should and most likely will keep even though I’ve over-extended myself already in this new year. Going to be a very busy first quarter of the year. Trying to not push aside my own agenda for that of others, but there is only so much time, money, and me to go around. I just keep repeating the chain of events in my head over and over to stay focused on my tasks. Finish paying off my debt, then I can save up to get a new car, then I can save up to get my own place to live, then I can save up to find a better job. Piece by piece. One thing leads to another. Won’t happen all at once. Will be a long process, but this is what I want. Not the stagnation I’ve been in.
Today I plan on getting a storage unit nearby so I can give my parents back some of the space I’ve been taking up since I moved back in. I donated a few bags of clothes and other items to charity last week, but I can probably find more things to get rid off as well. Lighten my load in areas where it can be and organize what I have remaining. Just keep taking stock of it all and remember what my goals are.
I have been divorced for just over 13 months now. I have noticed a recent uptick in not so casual or subtle inquiries from friends and family about me starting to date again. It’s perplexing. I very carefully make very little mention of my (lack of) love life, outside of the occasional joke about marrying Rachel McAdams one day*. I honestly just wish, if they are so curious about it, that they would just ask me straight up how I’m doing and broach the subject of dating when/if I bring it up in the course of such a conversation. I guess the people in my life just aren’t built that way.
And knowing my friends and family as well as I do it also makes me a bit paranoid that their recent increased prodding about me dating might have something to do with any of them hearing (whether it is true or not) about my ex maybe having started dating again. We have not been in communication since our divorced was finalized. The only piece of information about her life since that time that I have been made privy to via a mutual friend is that she was moved by her job again to another town about 30 miles away from where we lived together.
I have mostly tried to keep that out of mind. I want her to be happy and to be doing well. Hearing that she is dating again, whether casually or something less so, would not be devastating for me to know. It’s very much something I’ve come to expect and accept. But at the same time I just don’t want to know. It’s too tricky. A minefield. Avoidance is the best course of action currently and it shall remain that way until it doesn’t.
As to the question of me dating. This rambling has all been a long way of saying that I am not opposed to the idea of meeting someone, connecting with someone, enjoying the company of someone. But I can’t imagine myself doing anything casual anymore, not after... And as I started this long winded post off by saying I have concrete and important goals to accomplish. Finish paying off my debt, then I can save up to get a new car, then I can save up to get my own place to live, then I can save up to find a better job.
That will have to come first for me. I won’t at this time put much effort or time into dating, but I won’t shut myself off from the possibility.
Today I plan on getting a storage unit nearby so I can give my parents back some of the space I’ve been taking up since I moved back in. I donated a few bags of clothes and other items to charity last week, but I can probably find more things to get rid off as well. Lighten my load in areas where it can be and organize what I have remaining. Just keep taking stock of it all and remember what my goals are.
I have been divorced for just over 13 months now. I have noticed a recent uptick in not so casual or subtle inquiries from friends and family about me starting to date again. It’s perplexing. I very carefully make very little mention of my (lack of) love life, outside of the occasional joke about marrying Rachel McAdams one day*. I honestly just wish, if they are so curious about it, that they would just ask me straight up how I’m doing and broach the subject of dating when/if I bring it up in the course of such a conversation. I guess the people in my life just aren’t built that way.
And knowing my friends and family as well as I do it also makes me a bit paranoid that their recent increased prodding about me dating might have something to do with any of them hearing (whether it is true or not) about my ex maybe having started dating again. We have not been in communication since our divorced was finalized. The only piece of information about her life since that time that I have been made privy to via a mutual friend is that she was moved by her job again to another town about 30 miles away from where we lived together.
I have mostly tried to keep that out of mind. I want her to be happy and to be doing well. Hearing that she is dating again, whether casually or something less so, would not be devastating for me to know. It’s very much something I’ve come to expect and accept. But at the same time I just don’t want to know. It’s too tricky. A minefield. Avoidance is the best course of action currently and it shall remain that way until it doesn’t.
As to the question of me dating. This rambling has all been a long way of saying that I am not opposed to the idea of meeting someone, connecting with someone, enjoying the company of someone. But I can’t imagine myself doing anything casual anymore, not after... And as I started this long winded post off by saying I have concrete and important goals to accomplish. Finish paying off my debt, then I can save up to get a new car, then I can save up to get my own place to live, then I can save up to find a better job.
That will have to come first for me. I won’t at this time put much effort or time into dating, but I won’t shut myself off from the possibility.
So happy to hear the new year is keeping you busy. Just decided to check in with your blog since it had been a while since we heard from you. -Former Lister (Boogie)
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