It’s very depressing when most of your socialization is with people that are apathetic and/or mocking toward important things going on in the world. But what else should I expect when they are mostly middle-aged, middle-class white people in Texas. Just because I’m in the Austin area and involved in the performing arts doesn’t mean that I’m not also a very isolated liberal snowflake who feels like he can’t relate to people I spend most of my time with, whether at work or home or within my community. And even when I do meet or befriend someone who claims to be a progressive or whatever, they still have a lot of shitty beliefs that gobsmack me and they don’t care about challenging their beliefs or actually learning, progressing. They are stuck in the 70s thinking the world was perfect then.
I just watched “Obvious Child” and my heart fucking hurts so much because it was so funny, beautiful, honest, tender. And it makes me hate my own life and situation a thousand times more tha I already do. I’m supposed to see her on Friday to sign the divorce papers and so she can give me back the rest of the my shit that I left behind in the house that we shared as our home. And when I say shit, I mean exactly that, just crap that I don’t need or want but she can’t stand to have any trace of me left hanging around and doesn’t have the decency to burn it or throw away on her own. Like she even has a photo of me that I had given to her and she wants to return it to me. What the fuck?! It’s for me to process the idea that she is capable of such cruelty. Is it not enough that I am giving her what she wants? Is it not enough that I am left with next to nothing? No job, a broke down car, living with my parents, an entire life and future dreamt of and hoped for dashed. Friends & fami...
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