Animals by Frank O’Hara

Posted this to Twitter. Feeling pretty down this late evening. Stupidly checked my ex's social media. Made things worse. Got a lot of stuff rattling around the noodle.

 "I feel things so deeply, I could feel things start to shatter in me when I’m sad. There’s glass everywhere." - unknown

Broken glass is a good metaphor. But how do you repair broken glass? You get new glass in most. So is it even repair when it is something new? A replacement. They aren't the same, maybe alike, but different. Maybe it's not the glass that needs repairing but the window.

"It’s hard to let go. Even when what you’re holding onto is full of thorns, it’s hard to let go. Maybe especially then." - from Joyland by Stephen King

I have never ever had that problem before. I let go of things with ease, maybe to a fault for the first 30 years of my life. Why am I now experiencing so much hesitation and inability to accept things? She let go long ago. If her skin was pierced by thorns, those wounds have healed or are healing over. I just continue to bleed and feel the pain.