The First Cut (of cheese) is the Deepest
It’s kind of amazing that I have been able to stop using recreational drugs, quit smoking cigarettes, stopped drinking alcohol, and a number of other things I did in my youth that were dangerous. I had a motorcycle in my mid-20s. I used go cliff diving regularly. Used to have casual sex with people I barely knew.
I’ve been able to curtail those behaviors for years, often without any relapse or backsliding. And yet no matter how many times I try to I can not stop eating fucking cheese. I was diagnosed lactose intolerant when I was eight years-old, so I’ve spent the super majority of my life knowing that I shouldn’t eat cheese, that the reason I so often feel sickly is because of not excluding dairy completely from my diet, that when I have in fact pulled that trick off for short periods of time I have felt so much better; all of that empirical & personal evidence and I still can not fucking stay off cheese.
I can and mostly do stay away from other forms of dairy, but cheese is my goddamn dietary Achilles’ heel. Damn you Pizza! Damn you Mac & Cheese! Damn you Sandwiches for not tasting as good without cheese on them! Damn you Goat Cheese for being delicious but too expensive and never as readily available! Damn you vegan cheese products for being a general abomination!
When my life flashes before my eyes it will consist of far too many flashes of me sitting on a toilet for far too long.
I’ve been able to curtail those behaviors for years, often without any relapse or backsliding. And yet no matter how many times I try to I can not stop eating fucking cheese. I was diagnosed lactose intolerant when I was eight years-old, so I’ve spent the super majority of my life knowing that I shouldn’t eat cheese, that the reason I so often feel sickly is because of not excluding dairy completely from my diet, that when I have in fact pulled that trick off for short periods of time I have felt so much better; all of that empirical & personal evidence and I still can not fucking stay off cheese.
I can and mostly do stay away from other forms of dairy, but cheese is my goddamn dietary Achilles’ heel. Damn you Pizza! Damn you Mac & Cheese! Damn you Sandwiches for not tasting as good without cheese on them! Damn you Goat Cheese for being delicious but too expensive and never as readily available! Damn you vegan cheese products for being a general abomination!
When my life flashes before my eyes it will consist of far too many flashes of me sitting on a toilet for far too long.
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