Bah Humbug
I know nothing magical is going to happen to once 2016 is over and we are living in 2017. But it doesn’t stop me from wishing the next nine days would go by in a blink of an eye. Fuck this holiday season.
Unless you actually are having or are planning on having a happy Christmas and New Year. In which case good on you. There is still laughter and love and celebration aplenty. I don’t deny that. I usually love this season. I’m not going to begrudge anyone else for having joy simply because I do not. I’m an asshole, but I’m not a fucking asshole.
I'm just dealing with a case humbugness due to my entire life being in constant chaos and aimlessness. I hate the minutia of the Holiday season arguing and stressing over the many things that the season brings which don't actually matter that much. The feelings of obligation and pressure and unworthiness. The internalized anger and disappointment. Normally I can put up with it, but not in a year in which I won't be spending Christmas in the place and with the people I want to.
I don't want to spend this Christmas trapped in the angry and sad prayer that my life has been the last several months.
Unless you actually are having or are planning on having a happy Christmas and New Year. In which case good on you. There is still laughter and love and celebration aplenty. I don’t deny that. I usually love this season. I’m not going to begrudge anyone else for having joy simply because I do not. I’m an asshole, but I’m not a fucking asshole.
I'm just dealing with a case humbugness due to my entire life being in constant chaos and aimlessness. I hate the minutia of the Holiday season arguing and stressing over the many things that the season brings which don't actually matter that much. The feelings of obligation and pressure and unworthiness. The internalized anger and disappointment. Normally I can put up with it, but not in a year in which I won't be spending Christmas in the place and with the people I want to.
I don't want to spend this Christmas trapped in the angry and sad prayer that my life has been the last several months.
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