Feeling very despondent today.
Saturday nights and Sunday mornings just aren't the same anymore. I miss the routine, which was not always that routine. I miss the feeling of home. I miss watching her work. I miss the Church. I miss the people. I miss the places. I miss the feeling of home. Had to be said twice.
This is not my home. This is not my church. I will go through the motions of a life I once led, but it takes far more out of me than ever before without giving anything back to me. I am trying to pour from an empty cup. I miss my cup being full. How could she ever think it wasn't full?
Anxiety, as bad as it is, at the very least doesn't let you forget about that you are alive and you care. Today the sadness I feel is calm. Too calm. I don't know what to do, except to plead for reconsideration. But that is pathetic, likely fruitless, and would cause her more undue harm that I don't wish to inflict on her.
I will pray on it. Lord hear my prayer.
Saturday nights and Sunday mornings just aren't the same anymore. I miss the routine, which was not always that routine. I miss the feeling of home. I miss watching her work. I miss the Church. I miss the people. I miss the places. I miss the feeling of home. Had to be said twice.
This is not my home. This is not my church. I will go through the motions of a life I once led, but it takes far more out of me than ever before without giving anything back to me. I am trying to pour from an empty cup. I miss my cup being full. How could she ever think it wasn't full?
Anxiety, as bad as it is, at the very least doesn't let you forget about that you are alive and you care. Today the sadness I feel is calm. Too calm. I don't know what to do, except to plead for reconsideration. But that is pathetic, likely fruitless, and would cause her more undue harm that I don't wish to inflict on her.
I will pray on it. Lord hear my prayer.
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