A friend of mine, the wife of the playwright & director of the play I just closed last weekend, told me this afternoon that she wants to fix me up with someone she knows, who came to see the play, later expressed interest in me to her.
Kind of makes me feel weird that they just didn’t come up and say hello after the play. But audience members that don’t already know me rarely come up to me after shows, even when I am trying to be as cordial and inviting and friendly as possible.
Of course tonight at rehearsal I was talking to a fellow actor that I don’t know very well and she was just making polite conversation and I talked about myself the entire time never once asking her about herself. My social awkwardness and lack of awareness is something so ingrained in me that I can’t escape it no matter how hard I try to be different.
And I’m still not sure about trying to date again yet. I’ve just gone through a period of time where my sex drive was crazy. But in the past few days I’ve noticed the sex drive will get amped but a combination of stress & sadness burst the bubble rather quickly. It’s been just over two years now since I had a normal, regular, healthy sex with a partner. So I guess after that much time and with all I’ve been though emotionally it’s common to have fits and starts. Ebs and flows.
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