July

I'm fairly confident that sleep deprivation is currently the most harmful symptom of my Major Depressive Disorder. So many other physical and mental symptoms stem directly from lack of sleep, anxiety over falling asleep, unrestful sleep, etc..

I've not been able to able to afford regular treatment or medication for over a year. Have been holding out hope for finding work with benefits, but still waiting on that. And in my home state of Texas (and the way things are looking soon the entire country) I'm not liking my chances to qualify for Medicaid or other assistance. 

It's July. Which is the month with the anniversary of my brother's suicide (fourteen years on the 16th) and is often the most difficult month to get through. Later this month will also mark one full year since the last time I saw my ex in person, so that is just another wrinkle. 

I wish had a better game plan for going into this month. My support systems are not much right now. I'm always willing to do the heavy lifting myself, but again there just isn't enough solid ground to work with. Need a building block to come from somewhere. Just not sure where to look.