I have been light-headed, with a constant mild headache and bouts of queasiness all day. Had a job interview this afternoon that went well. I must have been coasting on adrenaline because I felt so lousy but had enough energy to power through it like an actual human being. They really seemed to like me and think I’m a good fit based on experience. I’m going back tomorrow afternoon for a second interview, certainly hope they offer me the job by the end of it. Pay is fair, but no health insurance benefits. Firm work hours of 8:30-5, no weekends or holidays. 2 weeks paid vacation to begin. It’s quite the commute currently, but if it goes well for me and after I save up to buy a car I can then look at moving the fuck out my parents and somewhere much closer to the office in Austin. Fingers crossed, prayers, good vibes, et al. Hope I feel better tomorrow for the next step.
I just watched “Obvious Child” and my heart fucking hurts so much because it was so funny, beautiful, honest, tender. And it makes me hate my own life and situation a thousand times more tha I already do. I’m supposed to see her on Friday to sign the divorce papers and so she can give me back the rest of the my shit that I left behind in the house that we shared as our home. And when I say shit, I mean exactly that, just crap that I don’t need or want but she can’t stand to have any trace of me left hanging around and doesn’t have the decency to burn it or throw away on her own. Like she even has a photo of me that I had given to her and she wants to return it to me. What the fuck?! It’s for me to process the idea that she is capable of such cruelty. Is it not enough that I am giving her what she wants? Is it not enough that I am left with next to nothing? No job, a broke down car, living with my parents, an entire life and future dreamt of and hoped for dashed. Friends & fami...
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