I am awake and dressed. Prepared to take my father to work so I can borrow his car to go on my job interview later this morning. I have not slept more than 20 minutes consecutively in the past four hours. Interrupted by the recently adopted 2 year-old rescue cat my mom got last Friday. She is a sweet, playful kitty but still getting used to her new surroundings and home. She has also taken to sleeping and hiding away all day long, only to be up all night with increasing levels of getting into everything and crying out. This cycle must be broken soon. And I don’t just mean the night cat stuff.
I just watched “Obvious Child” and my heart fucking hurts so much because it was so funny, beautiful, honest, tender. And it makes me hate my own life and situation a thousand times more tha I already do. I’m supposed to see her on Friday to sign the divorce papers and so she can give me back the rest of the my shit that I left behind in the house that we shared as our home. And when I say shit, I mean exactly that, just crap that I don’t need or want but she can’t stand to have any trace of me left hanging around and doesn’t have the decency to burn it or throw away on her own. Like she even has a photo of me that I had given to her and she wants to return it to me. What the fuck?! It’s for me to process the idea that she is capable of such cruelty. Is it not enough that I am giving her what she wants? Is it not enough that I am left with next to nothing? No job, a broke down car, living with my parents, an entire life and future dreamt of and hoped for dashed. Friends & fami...
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