I totally forgot that last Friday marked 6 years since I last smoked a cigarette or cigar. I still miss cigars occasionally, but I have not been tempted to take up smoking again. Nor have I been seriously tempted to start drinking again or doing any of the other bad things I used to do regularly. I don’t think I give myself enough credit for that. It’s something.
If my often depressed state makes someone think I just don’t care about myself or don’t want to have happiness in my life then why have I remained sober & clean throughout the hardest past year I’ve ever experienced? I have a lot of steam that needs letting off, but I am trying to do it the healthy way. It would be so easy to just go on a bender or start up that daily ritual of self-medicating.
I’d rather live with this rawness than with the numbness. Although it’s a very fine line between the two.
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