My mom was bitching about something I posted on Instagram. For a moment I considered blocking her, but then I just decided to delete the app from my phone. Just the app, not my account. So my selfies will be have to be unfiltered/edited trash for the time being. Also deleted the damned Facebook app as well. I’m always teetering on the edge of having no memory on my phone. Hope I can keep away from both of those for a while.
Feeling very bad today. Wanted to get out of the house, but had nowhere to go and nothing to do. Tomorrow I will be stuck with family at an event for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I wish I cared more about it and had the energy or desire to be more involved. I’ve been a few times, but not in the last few years. It can be overwhelming. So many sad stories. I didn’t raise any money for the cause. I don’t need to be made anymore aware of the epidemic of suicide and mental illness in this country and world. I live it everyday.
I just wish all things I feel right now weren’t in such a battle to be the dominant emotion in my life. Who is going to come out on top? Anger? Fear? Exhaustion? Hopelessness? Frustration? Doesn’t matter who wins, I still lose.
And I'm bored with my own sadness, but even that doesn't seem to propel me forward into anything else. Am I just completely broken at this point?
Feeling very bad today. Wanted to get out of the house, but had nowhere to go and nothing to do. Tomorrow I will be stuck with family at an event for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I wish I cared more about it and had the energy or desire to be more involved. I’ve been a few times, but not in the last few years. It can be overwhelming. So many sad stories. I didn’t raise any money for the cause. I don’t need to be made anymore aware of the epidemic of suicide and mental illness in this country and world. I live it everyday.
I just wish all things I feel right now weren’t in such a battle to be the dominant emotion in my life. Who is going to come out on top? Anger? Fear? Exhaustion? Hopelessness? Frustration? Doesn’t matter who wins, I still lose.
And I'm bored with my own sadness, but even that doesn't seem to propel me forward into anything else. Am I just completely broken at this point?
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