My ex wife had an orange tabby cat named P.J. that was 16 years old when we divorced in 2016. I was very fond of him. And have missed him greatly since I left.
My mom recently asked me if I knew how he was doing (she was clearly fishing on info if I knew how my ex was doing) but I didn’t. Because my ex and I haven’t talked in over a year and half and haven’t seen each other in person for two years already. Wow that is hard to wrap my head around.
She (my mom that is) just happened to see my ex comment on a Facebook post of a mutual friend about cats and asked her about PJ, to which she replied that he had passed away last August.
Essentially a year ago and never said a word to me about it despite knowing how much I cared for the cat and how much he meant to her. I’m sad to hear this news, but not surprised as he was a very old cat and she has not made any contact with me whatsoever since the divorce was finalized. I guess I’m kind of detached to the news in a way.
And it also helps puts things into perspective for me even better. When we were together we talked about getting a dog, something she had never had. We knew it would not be until after PJ was gone most likely, and probably not until we also started trying to have kids as I am a big proponent of kids having pets, especially dogs to be their first best friends and protectors.
We never ruled out having another cat, she was definitely a cat person, and I love both and have had both as pets many times over my whole life. But there was no concrete plan for getting a dog or another cat.
Then we taking a walk in our neighborhood one evening in early August 2015. A kitty about 6 weeks old was wondering around this parking lot near a railroad crossing. Instead of running away from us immediately it came right up to us meowing and trying to climb up into our arms. No tags or anything. We took it in.
Posted online in Facebook groups, flyers, etc.. to try find if it had a home. Never found an owner. PJ was not happy one bit about this new kitten. I never thought we’d end up keeping it, but she just decided without ever having a conversation about it with me. I was absolutely OK with keeping her, but I didn’t like her just deciding without us taking about it.
As I wonder now about her life, I have to think that some part of her was just acting as if she wasn’t even married or thinking about me being in the picture long term even then. Did she use the opportunity to rescue this kitten to have a transition in place knowing PJ wouldn’t be around much longer and disregard any notions or desires I had because she did not believe she would still be with me? I don’t know. Maybe I’m reading too much into it.
I essentially view our relationship ending the moment she said she wanted it to be over at the end of our couples counseling session on March 17, 2016. We didn’t officially separate until I moved out on May 5, 2016. Divorce was finalized on November 28th that same year.
Time flies by so fast. In the blink of an eye another 6 months will pass and we will have been apart for as long as we were together. When that day comes I hope I find more peace from it than sadness.
My mom recently asked me if I knew how he was doing (she was clearly fishing on info if I knew how my ex was doing) but I didn’t. Because my ex and I haven’t talked in over a year and half and haven’t seen each other in person for two years already. Wow that is hard to wrap my head around.
She (my mom that is) just happened to see my ex comment on a Facebook post of a mutual friend about cats and asked her about PJ, to which she replied that he had passed away last August.
Essentially a year ago and never said a word to me about it despite knowing how much I cared for the cat and how much he meant to her. I’m sad to hear this news, but not surprised as he was a very old cat and she has not made any contact with me whatsoever since the divorce was finalized. I guess I’m kind of detached to the news in a way.
And it also helps puts things into perspective for me even better. When we were together we talked about getting a dog, something she had never had. We knew it would not be until after PJ was gone most likely, and probably not until we also started trying to have kids as I am a big proponent of kids having pets, especially dogs to be their first best friends and protectors.
We never ruled out having another cat, she was definitely a cat person, and I love both and have had both as pets many times over my whole life. But there was no concrete plan for getting a dog or another cat.
Then we taking a walk in our neighborhood one evening in early August 2015. A kitty about 6 weeks old was wondering around this parking lot near a railroad crossing. Instead of running away from us immediately it came right up to us meowing and trying to climb up into our arms. No tags or anything. We took it in.
Posted online in Facebook groups, flyers, etc.. to try find if it had a home. Never found an owner. PJ was not happy one bit about this new kitten. I never thought we’d end up keeping it, but she just decided without ever having a conversation about it with me. I was absolutely OK with keeping her, but I didn’t like her just deciding without us taking about it.
As I wonder now about her life, I have to think that some part of her was just acting as if she wasn’t even married or thinking about me being in the picture long term even then. Did she use the opportunity to rescue this kitten to have a transition in place knowing PJ wouldn’t be around much longer and disregard any notions or desires I had because she did not believe she would still be with me? I don’t know. Maybe I’m reading too much into it.
I essentially view our relationship ending the moment she said she wanted it to be over at the end of our couples counseling session on March 17, 2016. We didn’t officially separate until I moved out on May 5, 2016. Divorce was finalized on November 28th that same year.
Time flies by so fast. In the blink of an eye another 6 months will pass and we will have been apart for as long as we were together. When that day comes I hope I find more peace from it than sadness.
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