Yesterday I bought an almost new car. I bought three boxes of Girl Scout cookies. I was officially offered the role of Darcy in an upcoming production of “Pride & Prejudice”, a role I believe I was born to play but didn’t think I would ever get the chance to do. I brought my twin 9 year old cousins that I don’t get the chance to spend a lot of time with to see tonight’s performance of “Cinderella” and afterwards treated all of us to Amy’s ice cream. And then I ended the day with seeing Black Panther. Days that good don’t come along often in a life. I’m humbled and appreciative but will totally understand if I get struck by lightning or diagnosed with a horrible disease next week.
I just watched “Obvious Child” and my heart fucking hurts so much because it was so funny, beautiful, honest, tender. And it makes me hate my own life and situation a thousand times more tha I already do. I’m supposed to see her on Friday to sign the divorce papers and so she can give me back the rest of the my shit that I left behind in the house that we shared as our home. And when I say shit, I mean exactly that, just crap that I don’t need or want but she can’t stand to have any trace of me left hanging around and doesn’t have the decency to burn it or throw away on her own. Like she even has a photo of me that I had given to her and she wants to return it to me. What the fuck?! It’s for me to process the idea that she is capable of such cruelty. Is it not enough that I am giving her what she wants? Is it not enough that I am left with next to nothing? No job, a broke down car, living with my parents, an entire life and future dreamt of and hoped for dashed. Friends & fami...
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