Very shaky panic attack last night as I was falling asleep. Hallucinating and night terrors. Sunday nights are so hard these days. Mondays are not any fun, but work is so busy that it goes by fast.
I already have too many anniversaries of awful things that I have to endure each year, and now this Tuesday another one on the list. One year since I’ve been divorced.
She hasnt texted, called, written, emailed, Facebook messaged, etc.. since the text she sent after she got out of court that day once it was finalized. I’ve not received any contact from any of her family or friends even months prior to that. Just lost everything from this big part of my life that I loved so much in an instant.
And I’m either too weak or ignorant to express how I feel or what I’m going through with the people I do still have in my life. Even if I could articulate it not sure I could expect much from them anyway. I’m a damaged person who comes from damaged people. It’s no surprise that she didn’t want me anymore.
A better person might’ve handled this all better. Would’ve learned more from going through something like this. I hope I’m wrong and maybe I have wisdom or perspective waiting around the corner for me. But for now it just feels dark and confusing.
I already have too many anniversaries of awful things that I have to endure each year, and now this Tuesday another one on the list. One year since I’ve been divorced.
She hasnt texted, called, written, emailed, Facebook messaged, etc.. since the text she sent after she got out of court that day once it was finalized. I’ve not received any contact from any of her family or friends even months prior to that. Just lost everything from this big part of my life that I loved so much in an instant.
And I’m either too weak or ignorant to express how I feel or what I’m going through with the people I do still have in my life. Even if I could articulate it not sure I could expect much from them anyway. I’m a damaged person who comes from damaged people. It’s no surprise that she didn’t want me anymore.
A better person might’ve handled this all better. Would’ve learned more from going through something like this. I hope I’m wrong and maybe I have wisdom or perspective waiting around the corner for me. But for now it just feels dark and confusing.
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