Conversation (other party redacted for privacy)
"I had made myself as vulnerable as I've ever been toward the end of my marriage and it still ended and I was left in a very disadvantageous situation comparatively. I'm literally living with my parents again, trying to start over.."
"It's hard and humbling, but I know that what came before, what I wish I could go back to was not working, so I have no choice but to move forward somehow.."
"Going back to her was never an option for me, as much as I obsessed over it initially. And I had to sort through the ways I was angry at her and angry at myself for ending up where I did."
"I don't find myself feeling angry much anymore, at least not toward the past. Try to funnel my anger to present in order help me as I move beyond."
"The loneliness is the worst kind of loneliness I've experienced before. I will say that. I have a lot of family around me, and friends. And they are good people for the most part but they didn't give me support in the way I wanted or needed. Even with me going against my nature and actually vocalizing what I needed."
"Mostly everyone has just acted like nothing ever happened. And deflected when I tried to talk about what I was going through. I can't fully blame them. I had lived the first 30 years of my life being very independent and kept them at arm's length. I was always the one who was there for everyone else. And I could never bring myself to reciprocate."
"In my marriage I was more open and trusting and vulnerable than I had ever been with anyone else, by a long shot. And yet I was still not able to be as fully open as she wanted and righty deserved. I made strides at the end, but it was too late.."
"The thing is I try not to resent how much of this I've had to go through on my own. Especially when I keep in mind that while I don't have much of an idea of where I'm headed or what I want out my life going forward, the one thing I do know that I want is never have to go through something like this alone again. I want to change my relationships and make new, stronger, healthier ones with people."
"And really I'm more focused on becoming more open with my friends and family. Strengthening those relationships, while working on myself too. And needing to make new friends too. Especially when I find work and am able to get out on my own again. I lost a lot of my best support from people that I knew through my ex. And while that sucks it made me realize that I can make those connections with people more like me."
"I've always had social anxiety myself, but I think I've just gotten to the point where I feel more anxious about being alone."
"It's hard and humbling, but I know that what came before, what I wish I could go back to was not working, so I have no choice but to move forward somehow.."
"Going back to her was never an option for me, as much as I obsessed over it initially. And I had to sort through the ways I was angry at her and angry at myself for ending up where I did."
"I don't find myself feeling angry much anymore, at least not toward the past. Try to funnel my anger to present in order help me as I move beyond."
"The loneliness is the worst kind of loneliness I've experienced before. I will say that. I have a lot of family around me, and friends. And they are good people for the most part but they didn't give me support in the way I wanted or needed. Even with me going against my nature and actually vocalizing what I needed."
"Mostly everyone has just acted like nothing ever happened. And deflected when I tried to talk about what I was going through. I can't fully blame them. I had lived the first 30 years of my life being very independent and kept them at arm's length. I was always the one who was there for everyone else. And I could never bring myself to reciprocate."
"In my marriage I was more open and trusting and vulnerable than I had ever been with anyone else, by a long shot. And yet I was still not able to be as fully open as she wanted and righty deserved. I made strides at the end, but it was too late.."
"The thing is I try not to resent how much of this I've had to go through on my own. Especially when I keep in mind that while I don't have much of an idea of where I'm headed or what I want out my life going forward, the one thing I do know that I want is never have to go through something like this alone again. I want to change my relationships and make new, stronger, healthier ones with people."
"And really I'm more focused on becoming more open with my friends and family. Strengthening those relationships, while working on myself too. And needing to make new friends too. Especially when I find work and am able to get out on my own again. I lost a lot of my best support from people that I knew through my ex. And while that sucks it made me realize that I can make those connections with people more like me."
"I've always had social anxiety myself, but I think I've just gotten to the point where I feel more anxious about being alone."
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